The days I need to be a lion
Somedays I wake up and drink my coffee, without knowing if that day I will need to find strength even if I think I don’t have it. Here I am talking about those days where a conversation or a phone call can change your life forever, like when somebody tells you “your mother has died”, “your sister had a terrible accident”, “the blood test is positive”, “the x-ray shows that your son has cancer” or your boss looks at your face with cold eyes and says to you “you are fired”, or that painful day your husband or wife tells you that they don’t love you anymore.
No university, mentor or coach can help you to develop enough resistance in your heart or legs for news like this. I have had those days...but who hasn't? I could see a huge wave coming towards me, I knew it would flood me, drown me and I felt small and I said to myself - “I won’t survive” - I thought it was unbearable. Some situations are so painful and heartbreaking that we can’t face them, but...how do you resist a wave that you know will drag you down anyway? Vulnerability and mortality are two aspects of life to which we pay little attention. We take many people in our lives and even our own existence for granted for at least the next fifty years; but not, nothing is guaranteed free from breakdown, failure or even premature exclusion from the show. Our body experiences changes throughout the years. Some are subtle, like losing our hair, or developing wrinkles on our face, but sometimes the changes are more dramatic like a kidney that fails, or heart palpitations during the night that come apparently from nowhere. However, human beings are conditioned to adapt not only to their environment but also to changes in their bodies. Whoever loses a limb can learn to adapt and move in a slightly different way. The same way someone who is diagnosed with a complex disease must learn to adapt to that condition. Even someone who suffers from depression can learn to develop a new neural pathway. Someone who doesn’t know how to play the piano must learn to coordinate the fingers from one hand in a different way and rhythm to the ones from the other hand, to generate the harmony and beauty of the song. This must be learned. Some abilities that are worthwhile take time and patience to master. To find beauty in the world after losing a loved one or after the end of a precious relationship we must start again and see the beauty in simple things like the dinner we prepare for ourselves. Many times the secret is in finding ourselves, in accepting the pain we must go through, to pat ourselves on the back and say “this will pass”. In the meantime, try to create nice moments in your life, try to create space to relax, eat your favorite dish, listen to the songs you like, give yourself a lot of love: you are lovable and worthy.
How to get through a huge wave? By doing exactly that, getting through, without resistance. We all must get through one at some point of our lives. Some of them can be huge and heartbreaking, but they must follow their natural path, they will always pass and the waters will calm down again. We human beings have survived as a species thanks to our adaptation capacity, that great skill we carry with us in our genes. While you get through the wave, don’t lose touch with your trustworthy friends. Change the color of your desk decorations, walk under a gentle rain, give yourself spiritual moments with our creator, speak with elderly people and listen to them, cry with all your strength, empty the sack of self-destruction. Tears are the best anxiolytic to this day. Live in a state of gratitude for what you have, or have accomplished. Follow life, because life is happening out there.
Sometimes we have to carry our disguise of lion for a while, the strength will appear, the lion will come out and we raise our normal standard to cope with the situation. Now I am very happy, I can experience what is love and to be loved, how to be and how it feels to be a good friend, I give many kisses to my daughter and to my husband, but sometimes, so much happiness scares me...